Oy.
How I do wish I had this gift that so many do have.
I am a goal setter. A go "getter". A, things need to be done right now type of person only in some aspects in my life. Maybe some of you have that type of personality as well. On the other side of that personality of mine, I am laid back, a tad high maintenance every now and then, and shy especially if I don't know you.
But let's get back to this patience thing. I just don't have it and it is something I am beginning to yearn for. I am finding it is doing me more harm than good. It is becoming a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I want to be able to do everything in my time. To get it done. To take my own path and not wait on God. God knows my heart and your heart. He knows every desire we long for even before we speak of it. He knows our needs and he knows our selfish wants. But what God wants from us is to be patient in these things, and if it is His one and only will, things will come to pass. He wants us to have dreams too! One of my dreams? Crazy and weird as it may sound is to have a classic southern home, with navy blue shutters and wrap around porch. An acre of land with a few goats and a cow with no name (because we'd eventually kill the cow for meat, it's cheaper with a large family, and Josh and I will definitely have a LARGE family) But that is besides the point.
All of my girls have the "Jesus Calling" devotional by Sarah Young. It is an amazing feeling knowing that all 3 girls are in God's word daily, reading the same thing as me all on their very own level. Last night Lily asked if she could read hers aloud before bedtime. Well it was late and I was growing rather impatient that the 2 little girls and my little mister were still wide awake and I snapped and said no! Their faces of disappointment grew and I withdrew my "no" to a sure, but "hurry up (which that is another topic I'll touch on another day), it is past your bedtime!" God spoke to me right there. It was like a slap in the face. Ouch. Lily began to read and it was like God knew EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
From Jesus Calling, January 9 "I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you." "Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence."
My prayer today is this: That I will stop trying to persuade God of the things I want. He knows my wants, my needs and my heart. He has MY best interests at hand. He has mapped out my life. All I need to do is open my heart to the path he has laid out for me and join Him on it. To be patient. It is not my timing, but His.
Blessings!
So good. I'm pretty sure that I, too, have prayed for more patience. You know what they say - be careful what you pray for! ;) God is definitely refining me in this area. So thankful.
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