We all need rest

I haven't posted anything in the past few weeks because, well, my heart has been a little heavy.  I have been trying to be inspired or "search" for the correct thing to talk about and it just never came to me; until this morning.

A very dear friend of mine (K) sent me a message out of the blue this morning and said, "I woke up with you on my heart, is everything okay?"  I responded to her, thanking her for reaching out, that in fact, I was not doing that well.  I shared my heart and we left it at that. I know this friend, without a doubt is praying for me, and I for her, and in 3 weeks when we chat again, we'll pick right back up where we left off!

On my drive to work, I frequently listen to praise and worship, and consider this my alone time with God. Because as you know, with 4 kids, it can sometimes be difficult to have "quiet, alone time" with Him. So this morning, after responding to (K's) message and on my way into downtown, I let my guard down. I began to reflect on my response to her about what was going on in my life. I began to pray and meditate, and sing, not so quietly to the Lord.  My heart has been heavy for quite sometime now, for someone very dear to me, someone who is very much loved. He has been going through a difficult time. His disappointment has become my disappointment, and when he is discouraged, I've become discouraged. I feel I am in constant prayer for the situation at hand, sometimes finding myself asking God, WHY? Why can't this situation be turned around? When will his situation get better? It HAS to get better! It can't get any worse than this, or can it God? And then as I continued my drive, I felt this sense of peace come over me ... these burdens that I have been carrying for my loved one, the heaviness that I've had on my heart for weeks, and even some sleepless nights should be placed out of my mind because God is already carrying these burdens. 

He says in Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  

Just as I have carried a heavy heart, I was reminded today there is no need too.  I know that our God is in control of this situation, and although "I" "we" "he" wants this fixed now, we both know that it will all be in God's timing and His is ALWAYS better than ours.  

Blessings!

XO

*JK*

You see this guy? His name is Josh, I like to call him Joshua for fun! Well he kinda has my heart ... shhh .... Do you see that smile on his face? Well he never smiles in pictures, besides pics with his boys, but I do think that his smile means I kinda have his heart too!

Our very first date he asked me to go to church with him. I won't lie, that pretty much did me in without knowing much about him.  What fella does that? And then on that 3rd Sunday of the month, he asked me to his attend his baptism. From that point on, we have been pretty much inseparable. Some may say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and I do believe that, however; I can't stand to be away from this guy (and I am 99.73% sure he feels the same) Guess you could say I have a HUGE schoolgirl crush on him, and that's okay, I don't mind, because I honestly do.

I am so glad that God placed him in my (our) life. It was something so very unexpected, and neither of us were "looking" but it happened, and things have fallen into place. The right place.  I always prayed to God that he would give me a "Christian country boy who drove a big red truck" and you know what ... I got just that AND more! His beard and two boys! God does hear our prayers, even when they are something like this!!

I/we sit back weekly, and sometimes daily since we live apart, watching our children play with one another and fight as if they have known one another for years! I am so thankful for our children's relationship too. Blended families as I continue to read, are NOT an easy thing. This is why I am praying, as our relationship continues to grow with one another, it also continues to grow in Christ. This guy prays for me, and I pray for him; we pray for our children and what our future will one day be. A conversation that we had one evening, months ago via text, that I will never forget goes something like this: (not gonna lie, I actually saved this text)

Josh: So what are you doing?
Me: Reading my devo, and listening to praise and worship
Josh: I love it when you read your devotional
Me: Why is that?
Josh: Because I read mine, and when we are both in God's word that is an awesome thing. Having a strong relationship with God is the key to lasting relationships on earth.


                                                             SWOON

I can NOT tell you ladies, and guys if you are reading, how my heart melted at that exact moment!
A guy who puts our Heavenly Father first and foremost, in his life is a keeper I'm afraid. In all my years of being married, I did not have that. I am not here to judge by any means, and to each their own, but it was something I had always wanted. I enjoy the deep conversations we have about Christ and sharing bible verses and what they mean to each of us. The conversations we have about trusting God with what He plans for our future are amazing.

I'll stop gushing for now, but I will say I am one lucky and blessed girl to have him and his two little fellas in my life! This is just another reminder to me of  Joel 2:25.

crave

Crave (verb)  to have a very strong desire for something; to want greatly

Why crave? We all crave something. For children, it could be toys or candy, for teenagers, it may be the latest fashion, for men, possibly something to do with food or even sports, and for women? The list could go on and on ... a tidy house, no arguing children, chocolate!!

For King and Country, a Christian band, Crave is the title of one of their songs. The first time I heard it performed was live, at our church, The Church at Argyle, in Jacksonville, FL. My girls begged that night to buy band merchandise and I caved, and we bought the CD. Crave is the very last song on this album. As I listen to the lyrics sang daily, yes I said daily, because this is how much we listen to this album, it is no joke that we all crave for hope. I know I do.

For me personally speaking, I have always hoped or craved that I could move on in my life, move on from the bitterness and anger that I was hanging onto towards my ex. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more, and it was this song that really began to stick out:

Hope is what we crave, and that will never change
So I stand and wait
I need a drop of grace to carry me today,
A simple song to say
It's written on my soul;
Hope's what we crave.

I needed God's grace to get me through this difficult time in my life. It was only God's grace, that I could look at this individual (if truth be told) weekly at church as if nothing had ever happened between us. It was by God's grace that I could be loving and kind to this individual. There have been many friends in my life who, on a regular basis would ask me how I could even stand to be in the same room with him, and I would simply reply, grace. God's sweet grace (and forgiveness, but that will be another post!!) AND, I am no perfect individual myself, and I was undeserving of God's grace, but folks, that is all of us, and He loves us all just the same. 

I still crave for hope. I am extremely hopeful for my future, because I know, no matter what, God has something big and great and awesome in store me. I also stand firm in knowing as it is stated in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future of hope."

Blessings! xo