We all need rest

I haven't posted anything in the past few weeks because, well, my heart has been a little heavy.  I have been trying to be inspired or "search" for the correct thing to talk about and it just never came to me; until this morning.

A very dear friend of mine (K) sent me a message out of the blue this morning and said, "I woke up with you on my heart, is everything okay?"  I responded to her, thanking her for reaching out, that in fact, I was not doing that well.  I shared my heart and we left it at that. I know this friend, without a doubt is praying for me, and I for her, and in 3 weeks when we chat again, we'll pick right back up where we left off!

On my drive to work, I frequently listen to praise and worship, and consider this my alone time with God. Because as you know, with 4 kids, it can sometimes be difficult to have "quiet, alone time" with Him. So this morning, after responding to (K's) message and on my way into downtown, I let my guard down. I began to reflect on my response to her about what was going on in my life. I began to pray and meditate, and sing, not so quietly to the Lord.  My heart has been heavy for quite sometime now, for someone very dear to me, someone who is very much loved. He has been going through a difficult time. His disappointment has become my disappointment, and when he is discouraged, I've become discouraged. I feel I am in constant prayer for the situation at hand, sometimes finding myself asking God, WHY? Why can't this situation be turned around? When will his situation get better? It HAS to get better! It can't get any worse than this, or can it God? And then as I continued my drive, I felt this sense of peace come over me ... these burdens that I have been carrying for my loved one, the heaviness that I've had on my heart for weeks, and even some sleepless nights should be placed out of my mind because God is already carrying these burdens. 

He says in Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  

Just as I have carried a heavy heart, I was reminded today there is no need too.  I know that our God is in control of this situation, and although "I" "we" "he" wants this fixed now, we both know that it will all be in God's timing and His is ALWAYS better than ours.  

Blessings!

XO

Patience little one

I do not have patience. Let me repeat. I. DO. NOT. HAVE. PATIENCE.

                                                           Oy.

How I do wish I had this gift that so many do have.

I am a goal setter. A go "getter". A, things need to be done right now type of person only in some aspects in my life. Maybe some of you have that type of personality as well. On the other side of that personality of mine, I am laid back, a tad high maintenance every now and then, and shy especially if I don't know you.

But let's get back to this patience thing. I just don't have it and it is something I am beginning to yearn for. I am finding it is doing me more harm than good. It is becoming a huge obstacle for me to overcome. I want to be able to do everything in my time. To get it done. To take my own path and not wait on God. God knows my heart and your heart. He knows every desire we long for even before we speak of it.  He knows our needs and he knows our selfish wants. But what God wants from us is to be patient in these things, and  if it is His one and only will, things will come to pass. He wants us to have dreams too! One of my dreams? Crazy and weird as it may sound is to have a classic southern home, with navy blue shutters and wrap around porch. An acre of land with a few goats and a cow with no name (because we'd eventually kill the cow for meat, it's cheaper with a large family, and Josh and I will definitely have a LARGE family) But that is besides the point. 

All of my girls have the "Jesus Calling" devotional by Sarah Young.  It is an amazing feeling knowing that all 3 girls are in God's word daily, reading the same thing as me all on their very own level. Last night Lily asked if she could read hers aloud before bedtime. Well it was late and I was growing rather impatient that the 2 little girls and my little mister were still wide awake and I snapped and said no!  Their faces of disappointment grew and I withdrew my "no" to a sure, but "hurry up (which that is another topic I'll touch on another day), it is past your bedtime!"  God spoke to me right there. It was like a slap in the face. Ouch. Lily began to read and it was like God knew EXACTLY what I needed to hear. 

From Jesus Calling, January 9 "I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you."   "Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence."

My prayer today is this: That I will stop trying to persuade God of the things I want. He knows my wants, my needs and my heart. He has MY best interests at hand. He has mapped out my life. All I need to do is open my heart to the path he has laid out for me and join Him on it. To be patient. It is not my timing, but His.  

Blessings! 

 

Baby it's cold outside

As a Floridian, I have come to the conclusion that I am not made for the cold weather we are having.  I sit in my office wearing my winter coat and beanie because I simply can not warm up! My hands are like ice as I sit here and type and I sit Indian style in my seat to keep my feet warm. In saying this, I feel absolutely ashamed.  

I work right in the heart of downtown Jacksonville;  I have a window that overlooks a busy one way street. On a daily basis the homeless walk back and forth in front of my office. Today there was some office chatter taking place about how cold it is and the homeless were brought up on why they were out on the streets (in a jokingly matter by co-workers) I was rather taken back as I sat and listened. I did speak up and said that we should be thankful that we can each go to our homes that has heat, and by my mentioning of this, it was merely dismissed. Tonight when we get into our warm beds and snuggle up in our blankets with our loved ones, these people, the homeless, the less fortunate, will struggle looking for that exact warmth and shelter.  God doesn't see them any differently than he sees us. He created these men, women and children in the like of his own image, we are a part of that same category.

I have looked at our forecast for the next several days/week and here in Jacksonville and it is supposed to be pretty chilly.  Something we are not used to. I challenge each of you to this. This weekend, I am going to gather blankets and gently used jackets that we can no longer use or wear in our home and take them to one of our shelters downtown in the next coming days.  I am not sharing this to "brag", but just to encourage you to get outside of your comfort zone and respond to a need that our city has. I feel God has always placed on my heart to help the less fortunate, and I want to teach my children to have a servants heart. When God chooses us to do HIS work, then we should respond and do it however uncomfortable it may be. 


Blessings!
xo


"Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." Philippians 2:4 

"If there is a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns in your land which the Lord your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand from your poor brother.  Deuteronomy 15:7

*JK*

You see this guy? His name is Josh, I like to call him Joshua for fun! Well he kinda has my heart ... shhh .... Do you see that smile on his face? Well he never smiles in pictures, besides pics with his boys, but I do think that his smile means I kinda have his heart too!

Our very first date he asked me to go to church with him. I won't lie, that pretty much did me in without knowing much about him.  What fella does that? And then on that 3rd Sunday of the month, he asked me to his attend his baptism. From that point on, we have been pretty much inseparable. Some may say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and I do believe that, however; I can't stand to be away from this guy (and I am 99.73% sure he feels the same) Guess you could say I have a HUGE schoolgirl crush on him, and that's okay, I don't mind, because I honestly do.

I am so glad that God placed him in my (our) life. It was something so very unexpected, and neither of us were "looking" but it happened, and things have fallen into place. The right place.  I always prayed to God that he would give me a "Christian country boy who drove a big red truck" and you know what ... I got just that AND more! His beard and two boys! God does hear our prayers, even when they are something like this!!

I/we sit back weekly, and sometimes daily since we live apart, watching our children play with one another and fight as if they have known one another for years! I am so thankful for our children's relationship too. Blended families as I continue to read, are NOT an easy thing. This is why I am praying, as our relationship continues to grow with one another, it also continues to grow in Christ. This guy prays for me, and I pray for him; we pray for our children and what our future will one day be. A conversation that we had one evening, months ago via text, that I will never forget goes something like this: (not gonna lie, I actually saved this text)

Josh: So what are you doing?
Me: Reading my devo, and listening to praise and worship
Josh: I love it when you read your devotional
Me: Why is that?
Josh: Because I read mine, and when we are both in God's word that is an awesome thing. Having a strong relationship with God is the key to lasting relationships on earth.


                                                             SWOON

I can NOT tell you ladies, and guys if you are reading, how my heart melted at that exact moment!
A guy who puts our Heavenly Father first and foremost, in his life is a keeper I'm afraid. In all my years of being married, I did not have that. I am not here to judge by any means, and to each their own, but it was something I had always wanted. I enjoy the deep conversations we have about Christ and sharing bible verses and what they mean to each of us. The conversations we have about trusting God with what He plans for our future are amazing.

I'll stop gushing for now, but I will say I am one lucky and blessed girl to have him and his two little fellas in my life! This is just another reminder to me of  Joel 2:25.